


Beneath the Surface

by 3point14159mp



Category: Eureka (TV)
Genre: Abby’s an evil genius, Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti-Abby, Cussing, D/s undertones, Depression, Drama Drama Drama, Hurt/Comfort, I did no research for this, I’m really bad at this, Jack pov, Kidnapping, M/M, Masturbation, Nathan POV, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Possessive Nathan, Psychological Torture, Rotating POV, Sexual Fantasy, Slow Build, Timelines?, Trust Issues, lots of cussing, more tags to come, ooc Jack (but there’s a reason for it), third-person POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3point14159mp/pseuds/3point14159mp
Summary: What do you do when your entire world is turned upside down, and your contingency plan doesn’t work out the way you imagined? This is the question when Abby moves to Eureka, and Jack finds himself battling to remain in control and keep Zoe (and himself) safe. While trying to cope with this new situation, he finds himself with no allies, no solutions, and no hope. Finally, he manages to ensure Zoe’s safety, but at the detriment of his own.Nathan hates Jack Carter with everything he is...right? But their arguments lately have been more friendly banter than antagonistic. And when he asks Abby to move to Eureka, thinking it a perfect solution to the vacant Bed and Breakfast, Jack starts acting strange, and Nathan can’t help but want to figure out what’s going on. Science is driven by curiosity, after all.
Relationships: Jack Carter & Allison Blake, Jack Carter & Henry Deacon, Jack Carter & Jo Lupo, Jack Carter & Nathan Stark, Jack Carter & Zoe Carter, Jack Carter/Abby Carter (past), Jack Carter/Nathan Stark
Comments: 19
Kudos: 89





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! This is my first ever fanfic, and I hope you enjoy it! I also hope there are still people out there reading Eureka fics in 2020. 
> 
> I don’t have a beta (not sure how it even works, really), so all mistakes are mine. If you find any grammar, punctuation, or consistency errors, please let me know so I can fix them! 
> 
> I would love comments to keep me motivated, so please leave one if you have any thoughts. I have three chapters written so far, and plan for several more. 
> 
> For this and all subsequent chapters, if you recognize it, it doesn’t belong to me.

Jack was drowning. He tried to fight it, tried to be strong and surface, but he knew it was a lost cause. He had been making his way into town when he’d gotten a message that he was needed at GD. **_Early for a crisis_** , he’d thought, **_though I would think it would be more than a simple text message if it were an emergency_** _._ So he’d stopped for his Vinspresso and casually made his way to the campus.

If only he’d known what he was so complacently strolling into, he would have done anything other than comply. **_Right. It’s not like I could ever deny anything he-_**

He cut that thought off as soon as it registered; he was in enough shit right now. No need to add pain to the panic he was so desperately trying to repress.

“Jack? Has that tiny brain of yours finally given up? Nothing to say?” The taunt was evident in both the tone of her voice as well as the gleam in her eyes. She knew he couldn’t say anything. Who would believe him? And besides, it was just the three of them in here, and it’s sure as hell not like _Nathan_ of all people is going to defend him.

He took a steadying breath - pushed down the panic, the feeling of drowning, of hopelessness. **_This is why we have The Plan_** _._ “Abby. What a surprise,” was all he could get out, but at least he’d said something.

He saw Nathan frown, eyes bouncing between them. Just as Nathan opened his mouth to… he didn’t know what – to agree with her? **_Probably_** – Abby scowled and dropped her chin, “Well?” she snapped, “You heard him. I’m taking over the BnB and you need to do your job and take me there to get settled. Or is even that small task too difficult for you?”

The contempt was so clear in her tone Jack was surprised he didn’t feel it like a slap. Although he supposed it was like building a tolerance. Eventually you become desensitized and it just becomes part of you _._ ** _Fight the panic_**. He’d been through this before. He knew what to do.

He consciously shut it down. Every emotion. Every thought. Every feeling. They didn’t exist. It didn’t matter. Just like before, Zoe is what mattered. **_Remember The Plan_** _._

At least this time he had one.

* * *

Nathan was confused. Confusion was not a standard state of mind for him, and he detested it. But the display in front of him was simply…baffling. He’d brought Abby in to run the BnB thinking it was the perfect solution. After the mess with Beverly, they needed someone they could trust, and they needed someone quickly. Who better than the ex-wife of the town sheriff? She’d come to visit once before, and they’d been amicable enough. She was definitely qualified to come to Eureka, and what mother wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to live closer to their child, ensuring she would accept quickly? It was the perfect solution.

Only now, watching this exchange, he was second-guessing that conviction. She was insulting Carter like it was second-nature, and she was _gleeful_. Not that he was one to point fingers when it came to insulting Sheriff111. It was one of his favorite hobbies, but lately their interactions had turned more toward banter than any actual attempt at insult.

Abby had shown up at GD that morning as they’d discussed, and after signing her paperwork, she was officially a citizen of Eureka and employee of Global Dynamics. He mentioned that it was the sheriff’s job to settle new employees, but since she’d been here before, and stayed at the BnB at the time, he wouldn’t make her deal with the normal process. He hadn’t thought anything of it when she’s smiled and said not to change the rules on her account. Maybe she wanted to ensure there was no special treatment. Maybe she just wanted to talk to Carter. It wasn’t his business, and frankly, he didn’t care, so he’d paged Fargo and told him to get Carter to GD.

Now…hell, now he had no idea what to think. Abby was insulting the sheriff like she relished it, and Carter wasn’t saying _anything_.

“Abby. What a surprise.”

Nathan frowned. Carter sounded… strangled. He looked back at Abby and saw a brief glint in her eye that he couldn’t quite name before it was gone. He opened his mouth to try to figure out what the hell was happening, but before he could get a single word out, Abby beat him to it.

“Well?” she snapped, “You heard him. I’m taking over the BnB and you need to do your job and take me there to get settled. Or is even that small task too difficult for you?”

He felt his eyebrows raise, unbidden. That was a bit much for the situation, even for him. **_Carter didn’t even say anything moronic yet_** _._

He could see Carter actively shutting down. He frowned again as his face became completely expressionless. “Did I miss something?” He asked, tired of whatever was happening and, for some reason he couldn’t name, upset at Jack’s behavior.

Abby seemed to suddenly remember he was there, and in a flash she was the same as every other time he’d spoken with her.

“I’m so sorry Nathan,” she said, lightly placing her hand on his arm and glancing at Carter. “I’m not sure what came over me. I think it’s probably just the stress from the move. I’ll be fine once I’m settled in.” She turned back to the sheriff, and in the same cordial tone said, “I’ll go wait in my car to follow you. Don’t be too long.”

Though her tone was polite, there seemed to be something underneath that he just couldn’t put his finger on; but before he could figure it out, she turned and walked away, letting her fingers slide along his bicep as she walked away. Nathan watched her leave with yet another frown on his face until he heard Carter speak.

“Do you really hate me that much? I knew you disliked me; think I’m incompetent and stupid. But I didn’t realize…” It was a broken, half-whispered confession of a question, and the pain in his voice made the hairs rise on the back of Nathan’s neck.

Nathan’s head snapped around to stare at Carter, but he wasn’t even looking at Nathan. At least not his face. Carter’s eyes were unfocused, liquid, and trained unerringly where Abby’s hand had touched his arm. He tried to read his expression, to understand, but he felt lost. He didn’t have all of the data, and how was he supposed to traverse this new environment without all of the necessary information?

“I don’t-“ but before he could finish his statement, the sheriff’s face closed off again, as if none of the pain had ever been there. As if he’d never said a word. And he simply turned and walked away.

* * *

Jack walked out to his Jeep trying desperately to get a grip on himself. He shouldn’t have said anything to Nathan. Fuck, he should have known how much Nathan hated him already, there’s no way this should have been a surprise. **_Get a grip. The Plan. You have things to do_** _._

Yes. The Plan. Focus. He got in his Jeep and started driving toward the Bed and Breakfast on autopilot. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number he had long since memorized.

“Hello. Jack?”

Despite everything, Jack felt the corner of his lips twitch upward in the approximation of a smile. “Hey Seb. Been awhile.” Jack had met Sebastian years ago, back when… back _then_. He’d been a friend of a fellow Marshal, and therefore off of Abby’s radar. He was an attorney back in L.A. and specialized in family law.

There was a slight pause on the other end of the phone, **_he’s trying to figure out how to ask if this is the call_** , before Seb drew a slow breath in. Jack spared him from having to ask, “It’s time, Seb. I need you to file the papers.”

He could hear Sebastian deflating. “Jack, I’m sor-“ Jack cut him off. No time for sympathies. It never helped him before and it wouldn’t help him now. “Two days, Seb.”

“…What?”

“I need it to be final within two days.” He could hear the exhaustion in his voice. Shit. He had to get himself together.

“Two days?! Jack, there’s no way-“ Sebastian started to deny. Jack couldn’t let him finish his objections. They were almost to the BnB. “Seb. Two days. It could be life or death. It _has_ to be finalized in two days. That’s the longest I can stall.”

He heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone and held his breath. He had to agree. He had to do this for him. It had to be- “Alright Jack. Two days. Judge Stevens owes me a favor. I’ll get it done for you.”

Jack parked in front of the BnB and closed his eyes in relief for the briefest of moments. **_Thank you_** _._ “Thank you, Seb. I’ll talk to you then.” Seb rang off and Jack disconnected the call. He looked up and out of the windshield to see Abby watching him speculatively. **_Fuck. Did she see my relief? No more, Jack. Get it together. For Zoe._**

He opened the door of his Jeep and climbed out, walking slowly toward Abby. She popped the trunk of her car and imperiously waved toward her luggage. “Bring those, won’t you, _Jack_.” It wasn’t a question. The emphasis on his name just showed how precarious the situation really was. Jack schooled his features, showing no reaction. He grabbed her two suitcases, gently closed the trunk, and followed her up the stairs to the front door, where he waited as she used her new key to unlock it. As he stepped forward to walk inside and set her luggage down, she suddenly stepped in front of him, blocking the doorway.

Abby grabbed the back of his neck with a strong grip, her nails pricking his skin. Jack fought not to hiss in pain, not to react at all. “Don’t think that everything is going to stay the way it has been, with you and Zoe pretending I don’t exist,” she hissed at him, the venom practically pouring out of her. She stared at Jack for another moment before tightening her grip and then roughly pushing him away. She stepped to the side to allow him to set her luggage inside the doorway. As Jack moved to stand up straight again, Abby gave her final blow, “Now that I’m in town, there’s no need for Zoe to live with you. You’ll have her here tonight, no later than seven. Understood?”

Jack couldn’t help it, he knew his eyes flashed with the pain of her order. She’s said it so casually, like she was commenting on the weather. _It looks like it might rain today. Your daughter won’t be living with you anymore._

He gulped down the bile that had risen in his throat and nodded once. Abby smiled at him like the Cheshire Cat and purred, “Well, I must get settled and it seems you have quite a bit to do as well. Seven o’clock, Jack. Not a second later.” And with that, she closed the door in his face.

 ** _Fuck! Focus._** The Plan. She was right, he had things to do.


	2. The Power of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jack initiates his plan, an ex-friend helps, and a current friend is done with his shit.

**_Should I tell her now or wait until after school?_** He could pull her out of school and tell her now, but he still had preparations to make, and she deserved the rest of the day to be normal. **_God knows this will be the last one._** Enough. The Plan. Make a list. **_Have to talk to Henry. Have to talk to Jo. Already talked to Seb._** Good, that’s good. He was already part-way there.

Jack left the BnB and drove straight to Henry’s garage. He drove sedately, as if it were any other day. As if his world wasn’t crashing down around him. **_Can’t let her see my panic. Can’t let her see that I have a plan._**

He pulled up to the garage and was relieved beyond measure to see Henry moving around inside. He jumped out of the Jeep and strode purposefully to the door, just this side of running. He swung into the garage, and Henry glanced up at him before looking back down at whatever device he was tinkering with before his head shot back up and he focused on Jack with a single-minded intensity. “Jack? What’s wrong? An experiment? GD?”

“N-no.” His voice cracked in the middle of the word and he had to clear his throat and blink away the moisture in his eyes before he could continue. **_FUCK! Get it to-fucking-gether!_** He could see Henry’s eyebrows climb toward his hairline, and before he could ask the question clearly on the tip of his tongue, Jack continued, “No Henry, this is personal. Something… something is happening. And some…thing will happen in a few days. I need you to promise me that Zoe can stay here. That Zoe can stay in Eureka no matter what, if something happens and she’s on her own. If she doesn’t have me or Abby, I need to know she can stay in Eureka and finish school and-“

“Jack!” Henry interrupted, frowning heavily. “Jack, breath! What’s going on?”

“I can’t tell you, Henry. I’m sorry. I know that I’m asking this of you without giving anything in return, but you know me. You know that I wouldn’t ask this without reason. I know you’ve been angry with me lately. That I did something that made you h-hate me, or s-something, but this isn’t really for me, it’s for Zoe. Please, Henry. I’ll leave you alone after this, won’t bother you. I wouldn’t bother you with it now if I didn’t have to, but you’re the mayor. You’re the only one who can do this. Please.” Jack had been staring at the countertop during his speech, unable to look Henry in the eye and not wanting him to see the tears threatening to overflow if Henry didn’t say yes. Now he raised his head, looking around the room, and tried not to panic at Henry’s silence.

* * *

Henry closed his eyes in shame and guilt. _“I know you’ve been angry with me lately. That I did something that made you h-hate me, or s-something…”_ He honestly hadn’t thought that Jack had noticed much of a difference in their relationship, but of course he had. A genius he wasn’t, but no one in Eureka could surpass Jack’s skill in reading people. And why couldn’t he let it go? He’d known from the beginning that it wasn’t actually Jack’s fault. **_What, was he going to let the universe implode? And beside, I had to have helped him get back anyway._** And he had genuinely come to love Grace; he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it, and to try to imagine Jack being unsuccessful in stopping Henry felt like a betrayal to the woman that loved him so unconditionally.

So why had he still been treating Jack like they had never been friends? Had he truly not forgiven him? What did-

“Henry. _Please_. I’ll do anything. I’ll leave Eureka, if that’s what you want. _PLEASE_.” Henry’s head snapped up and he focused back on Jack’s face, not realizing his gaze had wandered while he was thinking. Jack looked like he was about to have a panic attack, his knuckles white on his fisted hands, his eyed red-rimmed and wide, filled with tears, his breaths coming quickly.

“Jack, no!” Henry exclaimed, hoping to calm him down as quickly as he could. Leave Eureka? Had he really made Jack feel that was what Henry wanted?! But instead of calming down, Jack just slumped, looking defeated. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they looked dead, vacant.

“Ok. Thanks for listening, Henry. I understand.” And he turned and started walking away. Henry was confused, and frankly worried, until he realized his mistake. As Jack started opening the door, Henry leapt forward, arm extended as if he could pull Jack back to him from across the room, “Jack! Wait! I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant!” Jack paused, head still hanging low, but turned slightly to signify that he was listening. “I wasn’t saying no to your request, Jack. I was saying no to you leaving Eureka. I know I’ve been-“

Jack breathed a shuddering sigh of relief and, turning halfway back toward Henry, but not quite meeting his eye, said, “it’s ok Henry. You don’t have to explain yourself. We both know that I’m the idiot here. Whatever I did most surely justified your treatment. Thank you. Thank you for putting that aside for Zoe.” And then he walked out of the shop without another word.

Henry stood staring at the door for several minutes after Jack’s departure. **_No more_** _,_ he thought. **_I have to show him that all of that is behind us._** Maybe if he showed Jack that he _did_ consider him a friend, Jack would open up about whatever this was about, about what was happening or about to happen.

Henry nodded once, decisively, and vowed to focus on Jack. **_I’m still worried about him. I’ve never heard him like that before. I’ll call him later to talk, after he’s had a chance to calm down._** Frowning, Henry again looked toward the door before shaking his head to clear it and going back to work.

* * *

Jack sat in his Jeep, gulping deep breaths of air, trying to calm down. **_God_** , when he’d thought Henry was telling him no, telling him he wouldn’t help Zoe… He’d felt everything stop. The only thing he could focus on was getting out of Henry’s shop before he lost it. **_Thank you, Henry._**

He put the Jeep into gear and made his way back into town toward the sheriffs office. **_Talk to Seb, talk to Henry, talk to Jo. One left. Almost._** He had to keep it together. He just had to talk to Jo and then this afternoon, he’d tell Zo…

Suddenly he felt exhausted. He felt ten years older than he had when he’d woken up that morning. **_Zoe…_** No. Focus. He pulled up in front of the station and drew in a deep breath. He got out of the Jeep and made his way into the sheriffs office to talk to Jo. As he stepped inside, his hand came up to rub nervously at the back of his neck. This was the hardest one, because Jo would ask questions and would demand answers he couldn’t give. Avoiding her gaze, still rubbing the back of his neck, Jack began, “Hey Jo, I have a question, well more of a re-request, o-or I guess favor, to-“

Apparently avoiding looking at her in order to build his confidence was a mistake. His gaze snapped to her face as she rose slowly from her seat, glaring at him. He gulped. Jo started in a low, menacing tone, but quickly gained volume.

 _“_ You seriously want to ask me a _FAVOR_ right now? Are you kidding me, Carter?!” Jack winced when she used his last name. **_It took forever to get her to trust me enough to call me Jack. What happened?!_** He opened his mouth to ask, but she beat him to it, “No! I don’t want to hear it. I have been trying to get ahold of you _all morning_ and you have the audacity to stroll in here fucking _three hours late_ and ask me for a _FAVOR_?! Do you not remember the call last night?! The call you asked me to take, _PROMISING_ that you would be here _EARLY_ so that I could go home?! I have been working since one o’clock this morning you pretentious asshole! I’m not doing you another favor EVER!” And with that, Jo slammed her palm into his shoulder hard enough that he fell back into his desk, and stormed out of the building.

**_Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Of course I forgot to tell her about the text this morning and forgot about the call last night! Worthless...What am I going to do?! The Plan…_ **


	3. And then there was One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A backup plan is forged and destroyed, and another finally takes root.

**_What_** _**am I going to do? I didn’t even attempt a contingency plan because I never thought Jo would say no. God, I’m such an idiot. No wonder everyone treats me like this.**_ Jack struggled to fight off the despair and think of a new plan. So Jo was out. He could think of someone, he HAD to. **_Allison?_** Not his first choice, but he would try. Would it be better to call her or try in person? At this point he had no idea; he’d never felt so out of his element and overwhelmed. **_Which was saying something, coming from Sheriff111_** , he thought ruefully.

He decided it would be best to go talk to her in person. That way, if she was too busy, he could walk away without interrupting her. He drove to GD, parked, and went to find Allison. Luckily it didn’t take too long, and she didn’t seem too busy. Jack waited nearby while she finished her conversation, after having caught her eye. As the scientist walked away, Allison made her way over to Jack, “Hey Jack, everything ok? Did someone call you to come here?”

Jack smiled at her (or at least as best he could, under the circumstances – he just hoped he wasn’t grimacing at her) to put her at ease, “Oh no, no one called me. I came to see you actually. I have a question for you.” Immediately, he felt a sense of dread. Before he even finished speaking, he could see her shoulders tense and lips turn down.

**_If she says no, there’s no one else. And this isn’t looking good…_ **

* * *

Allison restrained herself from rolling her eyes, but just barely. It had been a horrible day – every little thing had gone wrong and she’s had to put out fire after fire, and Nathan had been exceptionally… well, Nathan, this morning. She was already on edge and now Jack was here. **_I can’t take this any more. I thought we could just be friends._** She let out a sigh and looked Jack in the eye, “Look Jack, I tried to be gentle about this, but you’re clearly not getting the hint, so I’m going to stop being subtle. I’m not interested in you. When we met, I just thought you were a flirty person, and it was fun. But when I realized that you really wanted to date, I told you that it wasn’t going to happen. But you’ve persisted in perusing me and I can’t deal with it anymore! So from here forward, at least for awhile, I think it’s best if we only interact in a completely professional manor. Ok, Carter?”

She kept her tone steady and authoritative, with no room for rebuttal. He _had_ to get it this time, because she was done with it. **_Like I would ever date someone so much beneath my intelligence level. What would we even talk about?_** She hated those thoughts when she thought about Jack, but she was just being honest with herself. It would never work.

She finally realized that she’d gotten a bit lost in her thoughts and glanced up at Jack to see that he’d already walked away. Odd, she thought there would be more of a fight. **_I should have just been blunt from the beginning, I guess_** _,_ she thought as she turned around to continue her day.

* * *

“Ok, Carter?”

As soon as his last name came out of her mouth, Jack turned and walked away. He’d listened to her entire self-entitled speech and was waiting for her to finish to tell her how wrong she was, but when she called him Carter… **_We may as well be strangers. Professional relationship only. She definitely would have said no._**

He was out of options. Jack glanced at his watch to make sure it wasn’t time to pick up Zoe. **_I can’t be late again or Sarah will…_** His thoughts trailed off. SARAH! That may work! Hightailing it back to the Sheriff’s Office, he forwarded calls to his cell and immediately left again, heading toward the bunker. He had to talk to Sarah now, before he picked Zoe up from school. There wouldn’t be time afterward, between talking to Zoe and taking her to-

He shook his head violently, disrupting the thought he was trying so desperately not to let overwhelm him. He parked the Jeep and walked down the stairs before greeting Sarah and gaining entry.

“Good afternoon Sheriff Carter. You are home much earlier than normal. I did not receive any notification of an emergency,” Sarah’s greeted him. Jack couldn’t help that his lips lifted in an approximation of a smile. **_Oh Sarah, I’m actually going to miss you._**

“Sarah, I need to ask a question, but I don’t want you to panic. I’ll explain as soon as you give me the answer, ok?” Jack stated, looking up at the ceiling.

“I do not panic Sheriff Carter; I am not capable,” Sarah responded in a somehow haughty tone.

“Sarah, are there any vacant residences in Eureka?” Jack asked, without addressing the obviously inaccurate rebuttal from the A.I. After a few moments of complete silence, Jack sighed and flopped back into the couch, closing his eyes. “Sarah, I said not to panic. I promise you’re not going to be alone. Can you please answer the question?”

“There are no vacant residences in Eureka, Sheriff Carter,” came Sarah’s reply after he assured her that she wasn’t going to be left on her own.

“How is that possible?!” Jack shouted, “we’ve redacted I don’t even know how many employees since I moved to Eureka! How are none of their houses free?!”

“Several residences were destroyed by the hurricane created by Dr. Puhlman and the dish array, and by the bacterium that turned them into gold and then rust, and by-“

“Yes, ok, thank you Sarah.” Jack interrupted before she listed how every house was destroyed since he came to Eureka. **_God, what now?_**

_“_ Sheriff Carter, why did you ask about alternative residences?” Sarah asked when Jack said nothing further.

“Right, sorry Sarah. Secure 2 please. No connections of any kind.” He waited for the confirmation that Sarah was no longer connected to anything associated with Global Dynamics before continuing. **_That’s the last thing I need, for Abby to tap in and hear everything._** “Stark asked Abby to move to Eureka and take over the BnB now that Beverly is gone. There’s-“ he had to stop a moment as he gulped the sudden excess of saliva in his mouth. He leaned forward on the couch and covered his face with his hands. “There’s something that I’ve never told anyone about Abby and our marriage. Abby got pregnant with Zoe the first time we had sex. Everything happened so fast. I was so young and I wanted to do the right thing. The next thing I knew, we were married. I was still a patrol officer and Abby was in school. I focused on work so she could finish her masters. We were happy for a time. But by the time Zoe turned three, Abby had her degree, was almost finished with her doctorate, and I’d become a detective. Time was harder to come by and stress more plentiful. We fought more often and we’d stopped having sex within the first year.” **_Not that we really had much to begin with,_** he thought. “Finally I told her I wanted a divorce, and she lost it. She cried and begged and made me feel so guilty about Zoe, so I told her I’d give it some more time if we both worked at it. What I didn’t realize was that she just wanted time to finish something she was working on that would _make_ me stay. By the time she had it ready, it was too late. I ended up trapped inside a marriage with someone that hated me for almost fifteen years. But the worst of it was that she did the same to Zoe. And now she’s here. When we moved to Eureka, I came up with a plan to make sure that Zoe could never end up under her thumb again, and I had to enact it.”

He drew a deep, shuddering breath. He didn’t want to say the words. Saying it made it real. **_Man up._**

_“_ Paperwork has been filed to emancipate Zoe. In two days she will legally be free of us both and considered an adult. Henry is going to make sure that she can stay in Eureka, but we c-can’t live together anymore.” God, he hated how his voice broke. “My initial plan was to ask Jo to take Zoe in until she finishes school, but…well, that isn’t going to happen. She can’t be on her own, though. She needs someone to watch her back so Abby can’t get to her. So she’s going to stay here. Sarah, I need you to watch her. Watch out for her. Make sure Abby can _never_ get in here. Ok? Please!”

He was a bit frantic by the end, panting and desperate. “Of course Sheriff Carter. Zoe will be safe with me. But can you not just file for custody instead of Zoe being on her own?” Jack sighed a huge gust of relief, deflating back into the couch. “There’s no way I would win a custody battle. Abby is a genius, she’s a mental health professional that, on paper, could help Zoe with the issues she’s obviously displayed in the past, and she’s Zoe’s mother, which is always favorable to the courts. I spent more than a decade of Zoe’s life on assignment, never spending time with her or being there to raise her, I work in a dangerous position that could leave me incapacitated or dead at any moment, and… well there are things Abby would bring up that could be very negative, depending on the beliefs of the judge. I would be laughed out of there so fast and then Zoe would be stuck with Abby with no other options. No, emancipation is the only way to ensure she’s truly free.”

There was a pause while Sarah compiled everything he said, clearly agreeing with him, as she chose not to remark before asking, “Where will you live, though, if there are no vacancies?”

**_Good fucking question._** “I’ll figure something out, Sarah, don’t worry about it. Just focus on Zoe. She’s your tenant now.” He glanced at his watch and sighed. “And speaking of, I need to go get her. Normal security.”

He managed to drag himself up off of the couch, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, and made his way to the door. He shuffled through and up the stairs. **_Now the hardest part_** _,_ he thought, dreading having to see the look in Zoe’s eyes as he told her that her mother was here, they had to enact The Plan, and Zoe had to go live with Abby alone until it was final. If she thought she stood out before just being the sheriff’s kid, it was going to be a thousand times worse being the kid who filed with the courts in order to not have parents at all.


	4. Moving Out and Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Zoe talk, Jack makes his preparations and settles on the rest of his plan.

“No! I won’t do it! I’m old enough to know who I want to live with!” Zoe screamed, struggling to pull away from Jack’s grip on her upper arms. He understood, really, he did, but they didn’t have time for this and he really just needed to be able to hug her one more time before- **_Stop. It’s not like I’m never going to see her again. It’s just going to be awhile before I can._** So he just held her, hating himself and his inability to fix this as he watched her eyes fill with tears and her struggles slowly dwindle.

She slumped, allowing Jack to pull her to his chest and hold her, rubbing her back in as soothing a manner as possible, but didn’t raise her arms to hug him in return. “I don’t want this, Dad. I don’t want to live with her, even if it is only two days. I don’t want to live on my own when I only just got to start living with you.”

Jack screwed his eyes shut as tight as possible, the pain and sorrow in her voice, sounding even younger than her sixteen years in her misery, nearly breaking him. “I know Zo. And if there were any other way, you know that I would make it happen for you. I would do anything for you, but this is the only thing I… I’m sorry I’m not smarter, can’t think of something better.” He whispered the last part, despondent in his failure as her father, her protector.

Suddenly she reared back, stiff with fiery intensity as she glared at him. “No! None of that shit.” He smirked, allowing the language, under the circumstances. “We both know what happened, what she did.” Tears filled her eyes again as she continued, “I just don’t want to have to give you up, too. Why can’t I still see you after?”

Jack closed his eyes and pulled her close again, relieved beyond measure when her arms came around him this time in a desperate hug. **_Savor this. Keep it close._** “If you’ve filed for emancipation but continue to see one parent, the other could say that it should have just been a custody hearing. And we both know…” He trailed off, because they did both know the many reasons that he would never win a custody suit. He swallowed thickly. **_Have to comfort her. This affects her more than me. Be the adult._ **“It’s only for around a year and a half. Then once you’re eighteen, it won’t matter anymore and we can hang out as much as you want.” He knew it was little consolation. Twenty months seemed like an eternity to him, let alone to someone so young. But as she’d done time and again throughout her life, she showed her strength and poise, pulling herself up and nodding her head once. “What do we need to do?”

Jack didn’t think it were possible to be more proud of her than in this moment. “Go pack a bag. We have to get you to the BnB by 7:00. You just have to make it two days. Stay with Pilar one of the two if you can. Just don’t go to sleep. You know the drill. Coffee, study. Be safe.” It pained him to tell her to drink coffee again. She had just started getting over the addiction it had caused last time.

She nodded her head. “Ok and then after it goes through? I’m staying with Jo, right?”

He tried his best to keep the flash of sadness from his face, but with the turmoil of the day, he didn’t think he’d succeeded. “Ah, change of plans there, unfortunately. She, uh, you’ll be staying here, with Sarah. Sarah can watch over you better anyway.”

Zoe zeroed in on him. “What do you mean here? What happened with Jo? She said no? What about you? Where are you going to live?” Jack held up his hands, trying to calm her down. ** _Don’t want her to be mad at Jo because of me. She’s her best friend. She’s already losing what other stability she’s managed to scrape together._ **“It’s ok Zo. I didn’t get to ask her. I kind of…screwed up and she’s pretty pissed at me. She was so mad I think she would have said no no matter what. Don’t be mad at her.” He hoped she’d ignore that he didn’t answer the other questions.

“And where are you going to stay if you’re not here?” She demanded, crossing her arms. **_Of course she wouldn’t drop it, she’s your daughter._**

“Don’t worry about it Zo, I’ll stay with Henry or something. It’ll be ok.” She narrowed her eyes at him, and he held his breath, praying she hadn’t noticed the tension between him and Henry as of late. Finally she let her shoulders relax and dropped her arms. “Ok, but you better find a way to let me know where you are and that you’re ok. I don’t like being separated this time. I have a really bad feeling,” she said. Jack pulled her close for one last hug and said, “I know, sweetheart, but we have to stay completely separated for awhile. At least until she accepts that the emancipation is solid and isn’t watching. You know she’s going to be watching me for quite some time once she’s served.”

Zoe squeezed him tightly and murmured into his chest, “I know, that’s why I’m worried,” before sighing deeply and straightening up. “Alright, I’m going to go pack my bag and call Pilar. Don’t want to be late and cause more trouble than necessary.” She turned and bound up the stairs, pulling out her cell as she did.

“Don’t worry Sheriff, I will take good care of Zoe,” Sarah chimed in after Zoe made it to her bedroom. Jack smiled, the first in what felt like a year. “I know Sarah. Thank you.” And he did know. Sarah may be unconventional, dependent, and nosy, but she loved them in her own way, and she would ensure that Zoe was safe and healthy. It was the only thing he was sure of at this moment, and the only reason he was able to walk out with Zoe fifteen minutes later, knowing it was the last time they would be doing so.

* * *

Jack spent the next two days packing his things and scouring his brain trying to figure out what he was going to do. There was nothing close enough to Eureka to allow him to live outside of town, and nothing in town that was open. His list of friends, short to begin with, was now down to zero, so there was no one he could stay with. Finally, on the afternoon of the second day since he learned Abby was moving to Eureka, he finalized his plans.

**_Can’t stay in the Sheriff’s Office this time. Can’t stay somewhere so easily accessible. So I’ll sleep in the Jeep. It’s better that way anyway. I can move around – sleep in a different place each night._ **

It definitely wasn’t ideal, the best option would be to have someone he trusted watching his back, but at this point there wasn’t anyone he trusted anyway. Everyone hated him, and clearly with good reason. **_What’s that saying? ‘If all of your relationships have the same problems, look for the common thread’?_** He shook his head to clear his thoughts; he’d found himself drifting off into thought frequently the last two days.

He went over his list one more time, making sure he’d done everything he needed to do before the notice came. ** _Packed a bag with what I can keep with me. Boxed up everything else. Didn’t have time to move it all out, but it’s all shoved in the office. Hell, she can sell it if she needs to, but she shouldn’t, with the money I left. God, I hope it’s enough._**

He was as ready as he could be, and was just waiting anxiously to hear from Seb. He should have already gotten notification at this point, and Zoe was about to get out of school. If they weren’t served soon he-

The thought cut off as his phone rang. Pulling up the cell he saw Sebastian’s number. He closed his eyes, melting back into his seat in a mixture of relief and despair before answering the call. “Seb.”

“Hey Jack.” Seb’s voice was quiet and full of emotion. “It’s done. You’ll both be getting notification in the next thirty minutes, so I just wanted to give you a heads up first.”

“Thank you. Thank you, Seb. I- You don’t know how much this means.” Jack whispered.

“Don’t mention it, Jack. I told you before and I’ll tell you again: I think you should make it known. Fight her. _BUT_ ” he continued, when Jack started to protest, “I know that’s not going to happen when you’re worried for Zoe. Be safe, my friend. And please let me know if there’s anything else…”

Jack nodded, eyes filling with tears, forgetting momentarily that Seb couldn’t see him. “Thank you Seb. I’ll remember.” They ended the call and Jack just sat for a moment, staring off into space from behind his desk, before abruptly coming back to himself when a noise from across the room caught his attention. **_Jo. Shit._**

She cleared her throat, looking awkwardly down at the gun she was cleaning on her desk. Not wanting to stay and hear her make fun of him for his emotional display or give him shit for being such a screw up, he stood, and as he’d done for the last two days, avoided all unnecessary communication with her and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are finally shared in the next chapter, folks!


	5. And All is Finally Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth of Jack’s past is finally revealed, and Nathan begins to see Jack in a new light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle in boys and girls, this is a long, bumpy ride.

Nathan frowned as he focused on the screen, concentrating on the report and trying to ignore the headache gripping the base of his skull. The last week had been incredibly frustrating, even if he couldn’t exactly explain why. They’d only had one minor incident at GD, and when Carter had come to help, he’d managed to keep quiet and not be his usually irritating self. Nathan frowned harder, the crease between his eyebrows deepening drastically as that thought circled in his brain. **_He was UNUSUALLY quiet. And it looked like he hadn’t slept…_** Nathan forced the thought from his head, as he had several times already. What did he care? This was _Carter_.

Suddenly the door to his office opened and Jo Lupo walked in without a by-your-leave. Nathan raised an imperious eyebrow as he looked up at her. “Well hello to you, too, deputy. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he drawled.

“Not here. I need to talk to you. And Allison and Henry. But not here.” Her voice was raspier than normal, and now that she was closer he could see that her eyes were red. Had _Jo_ been _crying?!_ He wasn’t suicidal enough to ask.

He cleared his throat before asking, “What do you need to talk to us about, then? I am fairly busy, you know.” She just looked at him, serious and unwavering, and shook her head. “Not here,” she said again before turning around and heading to the door. “Meet us at Henry’s,” she threw back over her shoulder before walking out of his office.

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Nathan frowned. **_Why didn’t she just call me? Why would drive all the way here to tell me in person to meet her at Henry’s?_** That in and of itself was enough to capture his interest, and he found himself shutting down his computer and heading through the door. “I’m leaving the office. Don’t know when I’ll be back, may not be,” he murmured to Fargo on his way to the elevator, not bothering to look at him as he relayed the message. Fargo’s stuttering was cut off as the elevator doors closed behind him.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Henry, Jo, Allison, and Nathan were sitting around a table in Henry’s shop as Henry activated a device to ensure no one could pick up their conversation. Once their privacy was ensured, Nathan looked at Jo. “Is this secure enough for you? Can we commence with whatever this is? Or will there be more dramatics?” He was shocked, however, when Jo didn’t snap at him or seem to get angry in any way.

“Zoe came to see me,” she began, not bothering to acknowledge Nathan’s barb. “Have any of you noticed anything…strange with Jack lately?” The other three frowned, confused by the line of questioning. **_Why am I even included in this? It’s not like Carter and I are even friends._** Before he could ask, Henry spoke up.

“He came to see me about two weeks ago. It was definitely a strange conversation. I’d say he was rather frantic, but I haven’t seen him since,” he said, eyes unfocused as if he were reliving the scene.

“What did he go to see you about? How was he strange?” Jo asked, focused on Henry like a bloodhound.

“What is this about?” Allison interjected, before Henry could reply. “I’ll explain in a minute. Please, Henry,” Jo focused on Henry once again.

“He came to my shop and asked me to make sure that Zoe could stay in Eureka and finish school if something were to happen to him and Abby and she were alone. He was, well, _desperate_ is the only word appropriate. He definitely wasn’t himself. At one point he was almost in tears.”

Nathan’s eyebrows rose, unbidden. Jack Carter was many things, but a crier was not one of them. He was rather animated when it came to what he deemed were safety concerns, but it was safe to say that he was really not an emotional person at all.

Jo closed her eyes, shoulders slumping. “So two weeks already, then,” she mumbled under her breath before opening her eyes and focusing on the group. “Ok. Just…bear with me for this. It’s…Zoe came to see me. She wanted to know where her dad was, and I was confused, to say the least. She wasn’t making sense. She was really upset and crying and I couldn’t understand. When I tried to get her to talk to me, she panicked and said she couldn’t talk where _she_ could hear, where Abby could hear. She made me follow her back to the bunker where Sarah initiated a security protocol to disable all connections and ensure no eavesdroppers, like what we’ve done here. And then she told me…everything. I-“ she swallowed thickly, closing her eyes tightly for the briefest of moments before visibly pulling herself together again. “Abby got pregnant with Zoe the first time that she and Carter, you know. Carter tried to do the right thing, and they ended up getting married. He worked while she went to school, and eventually she had her doctorate and he was a Marshal. But they weren’t happy. Abby had met him and decided that he was the perfect person to fill the spot in the perfect life she was building, so she got him severely drunk, had unprotected sex with him, and then when the test came back positive, manipulated him into marriage. Then when he wanted a divorce, she used Zoe against him to manipulate him to stay. The second time he asked for a divorce…nothing was…everything…” She took another deep breath, gathering herself to continue. “The second time he told her he wanted a divorce, he told her that he had tried to make it work, but he couldn’t deny the truth anymore. Jack is gay. Abby is the only woman he’s ever been with. When he told her he’s gay, she lost it. Her perfect world was falling apart and she couldn’t accept it. After the first time he brought up divorce she started working on her device. Zoe said it doesn’t have a name that she knows of, but it. Well.”

With that, she leaned over and, from a bag Nathan hadn’t realized she had, pulled out a device. His eyebrows raised as he reached for it. It had many neural sensors woven into a sleeve that would hug the scalp of whoever put it on. Wires ran from each sensor down to a box with several buttons and dials.

“By the time he brought it up the second time, the device was finished. She told him that they were not getting a divorce, that if he brought it up again, she would use the device on Zoe. He didn’t believe her, didn’t understand what that would even entail, or believe that Abby would do something to her own daughter. So he contacted a lawyer to begin proceedings. That night, he came home and, instead of running up to him, excited to see him and tell him about her day, as Zoe did every evening, the house was silent. He found them in Zoe’s bedroom. Abby was standing over the bed, while Zoe was laying there with the device on her head, asleep. Abby told him that the device delivers prerecorded messages to your subconscious while you sleep, so your brain interprets them as your own thoughts when you’re awake. It can be used to help break bad habits, or sleep more deeply…or change your personality. The message stays in your psyche longer the longer the device is worn. Zoe had had the device on for two hours when by the time Jack got home that day, and the message she fed her lasted for almost two days. This was Jack’s warning. The device was telling Zoe that she didn’t have a father, that her father had died before she was born. After taking the device off, Abby woke Zoe up, and as she opened her eyes, she saw Jack and screamed, terrified. She didn’t understand why there was a stranger in her bedroom, and she was scared. She was only five years old.”

Allison gasped, drawing back sharply from the table. “What kind of mother…what kind of _person_ would do that to a child?!” She breathed.

Nathan was reeling, trying to take everything in, but was stuck on one seemingly innocuous phrase. **_Jack is gay. JACK is GAY. He doesn’t want Allison?_** He sharpened his focus as Jo began again.

“After Jack saw what the device could do, and wasn’t able to get his hands on it to destroy it, he knew he had to do whatever Abby wanted. He would do whatever he had to do to protect Zoe. Abby told him is no uncertain terms that, if he tried to pursue divorce again, she would make Zoe forget him every single night. So he stayed with the condition that she wasn’t to ever use the device on Zoe again. Unfortunately, that played directly into her plans, because Zoe was just her safeguard. She wanted to make Jack suffer for not wanting her, not loving her. So she agreed, she would leave Zoe alone, as long as Jack put the device on every night instead. As she said, she couldn’t use the device on Zoe if it was being used already on Jack.

It started small enough, for what it was. She made him think that he needed to have a desk job, so he was home more often. It was like an unrelenting thought in the back of his mind that drove him crazy until he gave in. Unfortunately, there was nothing that she could feed him to make him _like_ the desk job, and he became increasingly agitated and aggressive, starting arguments with Abby and people at work and ending up with a warning from his superior. Abby realized that if she made him continue with desk work that he would be fired, which would reflect poorly on her, so she stopped feeding that to his subconscious and demanded he take field work again. He was slightly happier being back in the field, and calmed down overall. Until Abby confronted him about their love life.

She wanted the perfect life, the perfect husband, and that included sex. Never mind that she was demanding it from a gay man she had coerced into marriage. When he told her that, after everything that had happened, there was no way he would be able to, well, _perform,_ Abby started feeding him messages that he wanted her. That he wanted to be with her.” Allison gasped softly beside Jo, looking slightly ill at the prospect of someone forcing another to _want_ sex with them.

“Unfortunately for Abby, she could make his brain think he wanted her, but couldn’t make his body respond. He would kiss her and they would try to initiate something, but as Jack had said, his body wasn’t interested. Abby was furious. So she changed the message being fed to Jack. She told his subconscious that he was disgusted by the thought of gay men. That mens’ bodies revolted him, made him nauseated. If she couldn’t have him, no one would.”

Nathan felt sick at Jo’s words, and he let his eyes slide closed against the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. **_Jesus, Jack._**

“Unfortunately for Jack, she was so vague that even his _own_ body caused this reaction. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror without getting nauseated, couldn’t touch himself in _any_ capacity. If he thought someone attractive or became aroused at all, his mind rebelled, flooding him with disgust and self-hatred. Abby thought it was hilarious. She fed him the same message every night, and he started losing weight, looking unkempt. People at work were asking questions.

Soon Jack realized that if he accepted, or volunteered for, assignments that took him far away, or would last for longer periods of time, he was often away long enough for the effects of the message to dissipate, and he could try to bring up his health a bit before going home. He began accepting longer and longer assignments and managed, for awhile, to convince Abby that it wasn’t voluntary. When she realized what was going on, though, she was livid.

She changed his message then. Told his subconscious that he was less intelligent than he really was. That he couldn’t access part of his brain. He found it harder to get his point across, to find the words he was trying to say, to understand everything going on around him…sound familiar?”

Nathan frowned heavily. “It sounds like his baseline. What are you saying?”

Suddenly, Jo looked incredibly sad. “Jack’s IQ is 111. But it wasn’t always. When he joined the Marshals, he took an IQ test for his intake and scored a 168. He-“

There was chaos as all three of the others began speaking at once. “168! What do you me-“

“That’s incredible! I always knew Jack was br-“

“What happened?”

The last from Nathan, low and intense. **_168\. Something happened to him because of Abby that made it go down and I’ve tormented him with it, with something he couldn’t help and only happened because he was protecting his daughter._** Shame flooded his system alongside the fury directed at a certain blonde psychopath.

Jo continued quietly, “one night between assignments, while he was sleeping with that message on the device, there was a horrible storm. Lightning struck and the power surged through the machine. She doesn’t know how it worked, but it caused the effects of that message to be permanent. The next assignment he went out on lasted several months, but the effects never dissipated. Before that, he was able to put the back and forth of his intelligence down to exhaustion from long assignments or stressful situations. After it became permanent, he ended up having to fake a head injury to account for never regaining his full faculties. He almost lost his position with the Marshals, was almost required to take disability. Luckily, he wasn’t just book smart, as we know. He did whatever he could to build his other skills to ensure that he wasn’t dismissed, that he was an asset. And he was allowed to stay.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone absorbed the fact that, had Jack never met Abby, he would have fit in as a resident of Eureka and never would have been the laughingstock he was now. **_You mean the laughingstock YOU made him?_** Nathan pushed the guilty thought away for now. He needed to hear the rest and focus on fixing the current situation.

“At this point Jack started giving up. Zoe was almost fourteen and had so much animosity against him for never being there while she grew up. Little did he know that, contrary to what Abby had promised all those years ago, she was using the device on Zoe when Jack was away on assignments. Feeding Zoe her own thoughts and feelings against Jack to make Zoe hate him. He finally realized what was happening when he had a lengthy stay at home between assignments. He had been home long enough for the effects of the device to wear off of Zoe and her natural love for her father came back. She came to him, crying, saying she thought there was something wrong with her, that she was sick. She said that sometimes it was like there was another voice in her head that made her think and feel and do things that she didn’t want. She was afraid and wanted it to stop. And he realized exactly what it was. He realized that her flip-flopping attitude against him and intense hatred when he came back from assignments was because of the device. Because of Abby. So he sat Zoe down, at thirteen years old, and explained everything. Told her all of it so she would understand. He told her that if you know that it’s happening, and you can focus hard enough, you can tell which thoughts aren’t yours. He said that if you can focus on the thought, the implanted ones feel oily, slick, like you can’t get a hold on it to be able to find the root. She said that once you look, that it’s a pretty accurate description. So he told her, if she started having thoughts that didn’t feel like her own, to slow down and focus and find out if they were hers. That once you found that a thought was planted, it made it a bit easier to resist. And he told her to do what she could, when he wasn’t home, to either stay with friends or stay awake as much as possible. She started drinking coffee like it was water so she could stay awake as much as possible. She developed a- a pretty bad addiction because of it, but she says it’s the only thing that allowed her to have any relationship with her father.”

The room was again silent as everyone thought of the poor girl that had to learn such hard facts of life at such a delicate age. Nathan shuddered and pushed away the thought of Kevin having to go through something similar.

“Right before Zoe’s fifteenth birthday, Abby met a man. A professor that was respectable and treated her like the princess she wanted to be. They started an affair, and Jack and Zoe got a reprieve for the first time in ten years. After only a few months, the professor wanted to marry Abby, so Abby _finally_ gave Jack a divorce.”

“Wait. Abby got remarried? What happened to this guy? As far as I was told when she signed her paperwork, she moved here alone,” Nathan interrupted, confused.

“Apparently, the professor had a heart attack in his sleep one night not that long ago. As Abby clearly isn’t that torn up about it, Zoe has her suspicions about the circumstances around his death.” There was an eerie silence as the four of them looked at each other and thought of Jack and Zoe. “Anyway, when Abby finally offered the divorce, Jack said he didn’t think he’d ever signed something so fast in his life. The only problem was that Abby got full custody of Zoe. Jack was in a dangerous field, he’d already supposedly sustained a brain injury in the line of duty. He had been mostly absent for the majority of Zoe’s life. There was no way he could get full custody, but he fought for dual custody. Or he started to. Abby didn’t want to deal with it, didn’t want the court battle or what she saw as the disgrace that came with it, so on a day when Zoe was home and had fallen asleep, she used the device to make her hate her father. Zoe was old enough to make a statement to the court, so Abby used that against Jack, had Zoe tell him exactly what she thought of him, and he knew that he wouldn’t win even partial custody.

Zoe realized what had happened and started running away from home, trying to make it long enough for the effects to wear off, and Jack would go after her. It was during one of these incidents that they ended up in Eureka. The effects started to wear off, Abby wanted to be the focus of her new fiancé and not have to deal with Zoe’s antics, and so she allowed Zoe to stay, though she retained custody.

Once Zoe was herself again, she and Jack came up with a plan in case Abby ever came after Zoe to take her home. Zoe pre-signed emancipation paperwork and they gave it to one of Jack’s old contacts to hold in case the day ever came. When Abby moved to Eureka two weeks ago, Jack enacted the plan. He called the attorney, who began the process.” She looked at Henry. “He made sure that Zoe would be able to stay in Eureka after the emancipation went through. And then he-“ She broke off, emotions flashing across her face in rapid succession. “The other part of the plan was to have Zoe stay with me until she graduates. We’re friends and I could watch her back to make sure Abby didn’t do anything. But-“ she cut off and looked at the table, shame covering her features.

“What? What happened, Jo?” Henry asked, trepidation clear in his voice.

When Jo raised her head, Nathan was shocked to see the tears in her eyes. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know what he was going to ask or any of the rest of it! There was a call the night before and he asked me to take it, promised he’d come in early so I could take the morning off. Then he showed up three hours _late_ without a word and I was so _angry._ He started talking, saying he needed a favor and I snapped. I told him I had furious with him and that I would never do another favor for him, ever. Then I left.” She looked at the table and rested her head in her hands. “He hasn’t spoken more than a few words to me since then,” she whispered, “and I was already guilty enough for how I acted. I thought he was mad at me, so I figured I would just give him his space.”

“So-“ Henry began, before Allison interrupted with wide-eyed shock. “I saw him that day, too,” she whispered, a look of misery crossing her features. “He came to GD, said he had a question. He must have been trying to ask if Zoe could stay with me instead. I didn’t even let him speak. I thought-“ she stopped, her cheeks flushing as a look of embarrassment crossed her features. “I thought he was trying to ask me out, so I interrupted him. Told him that I was tired of him hitting on me, that I’d thought we could be friends, but it clearly wasn’t getting through his head, so we should only have a professional relationship until he could get it straight.” She closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly. “He’s _GAY_. God…”

“Wait,” Nathan intoned, “So if he couldn’t get anyone to take Zoe…?”

Jo looked back up. “She’s still living in the bunker, with Sarah. She said that Jack made sure Sarah could keep Abby out, keep Zoe safe, and then he packed up all of his things, took a single bag of clothes and toiletries, left her his personal vehicle and several hundred dollars for emergencies, and left when the emancipation was finalized. She came to me because she hasn’t heard from or seen him in two weeks and she’s terrified that Abby got ahold of him. She nicked the device from Abby during the two days she was forced to stay with her, but she said that Abby didn’t seem concerned or upset. Never even asked about it. Like she didn’t need it anymore. She’s worried that Abby has a new device that she’s using on Jack and she wanted me to make sure he’s ok.”

Nathan rubbed the crease between his brows and thought about how Jack looked earlier that week when he’d come to GD. He’d looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes. “Ok, so if he’s not in the bunker, he would have had to request new accommodations.”

“Ah, well,” Allison stammered, “he didn’t.”

“How can you be so sure?” He asked skeptically.

“Because,” she continued, “the Millers just moved here a few days ago, and while I was going over their intake paperwork I found that there are no vacancies in Eureka and haven’t been for quite some time. The Millers are being housed in the BnB until something becomes available.”

Dread flowed through Nathan, feeling like ice in his veins. “Has he been staying in the Sheriff’s Office?” he directed to Jo.

She slowly shook her head. “I don’t think so. There’ve been a few times I’ve had to go in at random hours and I haven’t seen him there. I don’t know where he’s been sleeping. I tried calling him over the radio before I got all of you, tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t even answer me.”

**_God, Jack._** He couldn’t believe he was worried about Jack Carter of all people, but after that whirlwind of a story, he couldn’t seem to help it. **_Someone in the man’s life had to-_** No. He would examine that thought later, after they figured this out.

**_Damnit Jack. Where are you?_ **


	6. You’ve Got a Friend in Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack finds proof that he’s been subjected to the device, and realizes he’s having new side-effects that weren’t present before.

Jack let his eyes fall slowly closed as his phone rang for the third time in an hour. When Jo had first called him, he had instinctively grabbed the phone with the intention of answering, but… _“I have been working since one o’clock this morning you pretentious asshole! I’m not doing you another favor EVER!”_ Jo’s angry words kept running through his head, and he just couldn’t make himself answer her calls.

**_She’s always hated me. When I first came to Eureka, she made it pretty clear how she felt. Why would her opinion ever change? It’s not like I ever went out of my way to do anything for her. It’s not like I’m anyone worth befriending. I’ve never had friends, why wou-_ **

His train of thought derailed at that, and he frowned, staring off into the distance. **_I’ve had friends. I had friends in the Marshals. Seb was a good friend. Bill, Mark. I’ve had friends._**

He closed his eyes and focused inward. Made himself put all of his focus on that specific thought. **_I’ve never had friends._** He calmed his breathing, stilled all movement, smoothed his facial features. **_I’ve never…_** Like unfocusing the eyes to see the picture in a magic eye image, he focused on the phrase while blanking his mind. Fuzzy and indistinct, it hovered in the fore-front of his mind while he allowed his thoughts to drift in and out.

**_I’ve never had… So cold… Cramped in he– …friends... Jo was so angr– ...never… Cold… Breath. Slowly… …never had friends… Need to go into to- You… ugh, gross… What’s th- YOU… Ugh!... What IS th- YOU’VE NEVER HAD FRIENDS…_ **

Jack’s eyes snapped open as a shiver of disgust worked its way through his system. “Oily…” he murmured.

It was implanted. The phrase circling his brain was actually _you’ve_ never had friends, not _I’ve_ never had friends. And it felt…wrong. It was definitely not a true thought.

He brought his hand up to run slowly down his face, and cursed when he saw it trembling. It’d been about two weeks since Abby moved to Eureka, and he’d only seen her that day, showing her to the Bed and Breakfast and then dropping Zoe off later that evening. He’d managed to avoid her since. Well, he’d avoided everyone since then, really. Instead of sleeping in his own jail cell as he had on his first night in Eureka, he’d been sleeping in his Jeep, parking somewhere different each night to prevent her from finding him and hooking him up to the device. Even if she did find him, there was no way she would be able to open the door of the Jeep without Jack hearing and waking. In all honesty, it was the best option for avoiding being hooked up again, other than Sarah.

 ** _So why do I have implanted thoughts?_** There was no doubt that he’d been having them, but he didn’t understand where they were coming from, how she was doing it. He tried to think about it logically, but his thoughts felt sluggish, uncooperative. He hadn’t been sleeping well, cramped in his Jeep and on alert. **_And when’s the last time I ate a full meal?_** He tried to remember, but he had been avoiding people, so Café Diem was out of the question. He didn’t think he could handle the stares, the whispers. He may have believed they were just in his head, the belief that everyone was talking about him, if he hadn’t looked in the mirror when he’d showered yesterday morning at the sheriff’s office. **_Thank god the office has a decontamination shower._** Yesterday he’d gone into the office around two in the morning, after having woke up from another nightmare – **_Those are a wonderful new feature_** – knowing he wouldn’t be going back to sleep and wanting to wash the sickly sweat from his skin. He’d stepped into the bathroom and started the shower, wishing briefly for warm water, before glancing up into the mirror and freezing. It was the first time he’d really gotten a look at himself since…everything. He was pale, more so than he could ever remember having been, with a sickly, pallid undertone. His eyes were dull, puffy, and were surrounded by such dark rings he looked like he’d been sucker punched. His shoulders were stooped, bowing his back into a posture of defeat. And even without having taken off his clothes yet, he could tell he’d lost weight. Not significantly, only having been a couple weeks, but enough to effect the fit of his clothes; enough that it was obvious they were no longer the correct size.

Jack shook his head to clear the memory of his image. No, if he went into Café Diem looking like this, there would be whispers and stares and people judging him and…he sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head against the headrest behind him. He couldn’t handle it. He already had it inside his head; if he actually saw or heard it, he didn’t know if he could handle it. Well, regardless, he still needed to get back to work. He was pushing it with these “breaks” but he had just needed to be alone, to release the mask for a few moments, so he had driven out to the woods.

He opened his eyes and reached forward to turn the key when he heard something outside. He froze, not daring to move, listening. The noise came again, a rustling of leaves somewhere near the Jeep. Jack felt his shoulders tensing in anxiety and preparation. **_Why aren’t they saying anything? Why are they sneaking up on me?_** He steadily became more tense, waiting for more movement, more noise. **_I shouldn’t have come out here in the middle of the day. I’m alone. No witnesses. Idiot!_** When the rustling came again, feeling as if his heart were about to explode, Jack turned the key in the ignition, throwing the Jeep into gear and flooring the gas pedal in a matter of seconds, not looking behind him.

He drove back to town, willing his body to calm, the panic to recede. **_That’s also new. Fuck._** He didn’t understand what was happening. There was no way he’d been connected to the device and yet he was showing all of the signs he had been, along with the new issues. **_She clearly made altercations since we were married. She doesn’t even have to be in the same room as me to make it work._** As he parked in front of the Sheriff’s Office, a wave of despair threatened to pull him under. **_If she doesn’t have to put the device on me, if she can get to me anywhere, what’s the point in fighting it? I may as well give up and_** – the thought cut off abruptly. And what? What would giving up even mean? He frowned. Before he could begin to focus on the thought, he saw Jo pull up next to him, her eyes latching onto him with seeming single-minded intensity. **_Fuck._**

He couldn’t keep avoiding her, she was already angry with him. So he slowly opened the door and slid from the Jeep, keeping his eyes trained ahead as he walked to the door of the office, but keeping her in his peripheral line of sight as he would with any predator. Just as he reached for the handle to open the door, he heard her, “Where have you been, Carter?” He couldn’t help the flinch at the sharpness of her tone. “I- Just-“ He cleared his throat, absolutely _despising_ this weakness that seemed to have infused his entire being. “Sorry Lupo, I was just out patrolling and thinking. Was going to call you back when I got inside.” It was a blatant lie, but he hoped she wouldn’t see through it. He could see her eyes narrow as her gaze sharpened on him further. He suddenly realized that he was standing absolutely still, hand clenching the door handle in a white-knuckled grip, staring straight forward, body rigid. **_Great job, that’s not suspicious at all._**

He threw the door open and strode forward, walking to his desk and sitting, trying desperately to think of something that he needed to do. “You were patrolling.” It wasn’t a question. He flinched again at her words. **_Get that shit under control, damnit._** “If you’re so interested in patrolling suddenly, maybe you should be the deputy and I should be Sheriff.” Jack blanched as the words cut through him.

* * *

Jo pulled up the the Sheriff’s Office with a rush of relief to see Jack sitting in his Jeep, staring forward. She waited a moment to see what he would do. **_No way I’m letting you out of my sight right now._** She’d just left Henry’s after their impromptu meeting and was ecstatic to find Jack so quickly afterward. Just as she reached for her phone to call one of the others, Jack opened his door and got out of the Jeep. Following suit, she rounded the hood of her car and got a good look at Jack for the first time in several days. **_Jesus, he looks like he’s going to pass out at any moment._**

Concern coursed through her. They needed to know where he’d been staying – he clearly wasn’t taking care of himself. “Where have you been, Carter?” She tried to keep her voice gentle, but the worry sharpened her words. **_Well I’ve never been a gentle person, don’t know why I thought that would work now._** Jack flinched at her question. _Jack_ flinched at her question. The man that regularly threw himself in danger. “I- Just-“ He cleared his throat and Jo bit her tongue so as not to interrupt him and demand to know if he was ok. “Sorry Lupo, I was just out patrolling and thinking. Was going to call you back when I got inside.” **_Lupo?! I don’t think he’s_ ever _called me Lupo._** He’d always taken great joy in calling her Jo or, despite every threat she threw at him, Josephina. She frowned, barely containing her concern at this point. Needing to get Henry or someone else here to help. He hadn’t looked at her once since he got out of the Jeep, and his body was held so tensely, strung so taut he looked like he was on the verge of breaking. She was weighing the pros of waiting outside a moment to make a call and get some backup against making sure he didn’t leave her sight when he suddenly sprang into motion, throwing open the door and practically _fleeing_ inside.

Startled by the suddenness of the movement, she followed him in to see him already seated behind his desk. “You were patrolling.” **_Come on Carter,_ that’s _your excuse?!_** It was a testament to how upset he was, how out of character he was acting, that that was the best he could come up with. **_Maybe if I just act normally, it’ll put him more at ease…help him get his footing?_** “If you’re so interested in patrolling suddenly, maybe you should be the deputy and I should be Sheriff.” She half-joked with him all the time about “stealing” her position. Yeah, when he first accepted the position, she was pissed. At him, at Cobb, at Allison. But it didn’t take that long to see exactly why he was in that position. He was _good_ at it. He kept his cool in situations where she lost her head. He was much less quick to anger. She had accepted him as sheriff quite some time ago, and now only brought it up to annoy him or make him laugh.

She realized that it’d been silent for several moments since she’d spoken, and she looked at Jack, realizing instantly that she had grossly miscalculated.

Jack’s face, already pale, had drained of all color. He was staring at her with wide, hurt eyes. **_Shit. Wrong move._** “Jack, I didn’t mean that. I was trying to make you laugh.“ He didn’t seem to hear anything she was saying now. She took a step closer, reaching out to touch his arm, to get his attention. “Jack?” He blinked and focused on her, flinching away violently and standing from his chair when he realized she was closer and reaching for him. She snatched her hand to her chest, shocked. **_He’s acting like a feral animal._** He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything, looking more upset by the minute. **_I’m making it worse._**

Quietly, as if she were talking to an injured animal, she started backing away from Jack toward the door and said, “it’s alright Jack. Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m going to go grab a coffee or something, ok?” He didn’t say anything, so she turned and made her way quickly outside, hoping the space would help him relax. As soon as the door closed behind her, she pulled out her phone, calling Henry.

“Jo, everything ok?” It wasn’t surprising that he thought something was wrong. She’d just left the garage less than thirty minutes before. She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments. “Hey, Henry. After I left, I came over to the Sheriff’s Office and he’s here. He’s acting so strangely and I think I’m making it worse.” She paced back and forth as she spoke, unwilling to walk away and risk Jack leaving, but unable to stay still.

“Do you want me to come try? I don’t know if it’ll be any better, but I will if you think I should.” He sounded vaguely hesitant, like he wasn’t sure it was the right move, but wasn’t sure what the right move might be. “It’s worth a shot. He’s definitely gotten worse since the last time I saw him. I tried putting him at ease, making a joke that I should be Sheriff, which, yeah, I realized after the fact was probably not the best way to make him relax, but he got so pale and he looked like he was going to pass out. I apologized, but it was like he didn’t even hear me. I tried getting his attention but when I reached for him he freaked out. He jumped up and away from me like he thought I was going to beat the shit out of him or something. I just left hoping it would help make him feel better. Now I’m just standing outside so that he won’t leave.”

She took a deep, gasping breath, realizing she’d rambled that out in a slightly panicky tirade. “Hold tight Jo, I’ll be there shortly,” Henry affirmed. Jo slumped in relief and whispered, “Thanks, Henry.”

* * *

Jack was still trying to calm down when Jo turned and walked out. His heart was pounding like he’d run a marathon and his muscles were locked so tight that he had the sudden, crazed thought that he was turning into a statue. He violently shook his head and forcibly relaxed his muscles. **_I already knew she wanted the Sheriff’s position, that she thought I didn’t deserve it._** He had felt steamrolled when she’d uttered that about Jack being the deputy, but he didn’t know why. **_I can’t believe I thought it was joking before. How many times am I going to prove my idiocy?_** When he’d focused back on Jo, she had been so much closer, about to touch him, and his body had moved without any input from his brain. He’d jumped back and away from her as fast as he could, putting his chair between them. **_She was trying to attack me. Or take my badge? What was she- Why-_**

His thoughts were so muddled. He didn’t know what she was trying to do, but after everything else that morning, there was no way it was good. He glanced out the window and saw Jo on the phone, pacing back and forth in front of the door, almost like… ** _Almost like she’s guarding something. Or someone._** Was she keeping him here, making sure he didn’t leave?! Who was she talking to?

He took a step closer to the window, standing to the side to get a better view while remaining slightly hidden from outside view in case she looked in. The next time she paced back toward him, he focused on her face and began reading her lips.

-I should be Sheriff, which, yeah, I realized-

He bit down on his frustration as she turned away and paced the opposite direction. **_Of course. Reiterating that she doesn’t think I’m good enough for the position._**

-looked like he was going to pass out. I apologized, but it was-

He’d heard her apology, but hadn’t believed it for a moment. And now it looked like he was right not to, since she wasn’t sincere anyway.

-when I reached for him he freaked out. He jumped up and-

He scoffed. Of course he’d jumped up! **_I’m not just going to stand there when she’s trying to attack me!_**

-beat the shit out of him or something. I just left, hoping it would-

 ** _Jesus, I knew it!_** From her own mouth, she was going to try to hurt him.

-outside so that he won’t leave.-

Here she paused facing Jack, taking a deep breath after her rant. **_She’s trying to keep me here. Why? Who is she talking to that wants me to stay here?_** **_Shit, is she working with Abby?_** It would make sense. If Abby had help, had allies, it would make it so much easier to get to Jack. Maybe that’s how she’d gotten to him even though he’d moved every night. Does the Jeep have tracking? If it did, Jo would be the person to know and have that information. Just as he’d become convinced that Jo was talking to Abby, plotting to keep him there so Abby could come do something else to him, Jo slumped and he saw-

-Thanks, Henry.

 ** _Fuck. Henry’s in on it, too. Of course. He’s wanted me gone for who knows how long._** He had to get out of there. Fuck, but how? She was guarding the door, making sure he didn’t leave before Henry got there. There weren’t any other exits in- but there was another window. He turned sharply and moved toward the back of the room and the window that would lead to-

He stopped abruptly when he heard the door open. **_Too late._** Henry walked in, smiling at Jack like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t spent the last several months making sure Jack knew that he hated him. Like he hadn’t just been talking to Jo about him. Like he wasn’t here to do something else terrible to Jack. “Hey, Jack, how’s it going?” He stopped a few feet inside the door, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets as he threw out his question.

Jack’s eyes narrowed. He was so tired of everyone being so two-faced. Tired of hoping for friends when everyone was against him. “Why are you here?”

Henry was visibly surprised by Jack’s blunt, angry question. “Well, you seemed upset when you came to see me a bit ago and I wanted to make sure you’re ok. I told you I was sorry for making you feel like I hated you, and I want to make up for that.” It sounded so stilted and robotic, obviously rehearsed. Henry maintained eye contact with Jack the entire time he spoke. **_Trying to make me let my guard down. Not going to work._** “Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter. You can go.” Henry’s eyebrows shot up, and Jack knew he wasn’t acting normal, was letting them know that he was onto them, but he was so fed up with the subterfuge. He couldn’t stand this shit any more.

“I think it does matter, Jack. You’re upset and I just want to help.” As he opened his mouth to tell Henry exactly where he could shove all of his _“help”_ , the door opened again and Jo came back in. Of the two of them, Jo was easily the bigger threat, so, when she walked back into the Sheriff’s Office, Jack’s eyes snapped to her immediately, tracking her movements. Later, he’d wonder if it was his single-minded focus on Jo or his excessive fatigue causing delayed reactions that was to blame for what happened next. As soon as Jack’s attention snapped to track the predator entering the room, Henry sprang forward, jabbing something resembling an epipen into the side of Jack’s neck and releasing the medication within. Jack heard Jo yell something, but whatever Henry had dosed him with was ridiculously fast-acting, and the world was already starting to waver around him. As his hearing was going in and out, and his vision started to narrow like an old tube tv being turned off, he fought with everything in him to maintain eye contact with Henry, to force him to watch as Jack succumbed to whatever he’d done. When his legs gave out a moment later, he didn’t feel the arms that caught him, lowering him gently to the ground. He only saw that Henry’s face was suddenly closer. His mind started playing tricks on him then, making Henry’s face appear sad, worried. It reminded him of the friend he used to have many months ago, who wore that face before it held nothing but contempt for Jack. His body was shutting down, and Jack was so tired. He was losing the battle. Suddenly he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore, couldn’t keep the hurt at bay. Jack’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at Henry and whispered, “I would have left. You didn’t have to. I would have left.”

His vision was too blurred to see Henry’s reaction, not that he expected him to care after he’d just dosed him with some unknown drug. He felt a tear overflow and roll slowly down his cheek as his vision went dark, and then he felt no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for nothing.


	7. A Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan isn’t pleased with how everything has been handled.

“So let me get this straight,” he said, pressing his finger and thumb to the corners of his eyes. “We had an hours-long conversation this morning about how we were positive that the device was being used on him, with unknown, but clearly negative, results.” He pulled his hand away from his face and looked at the three standing in front of him. Jo was looking at the ground, hands in her pockets and clearly miserable, while Henry unflinchingly met his gaze with a hard look of righteousness. Allison, conversely, seemed to be separate from the conversation; her body directed toward the object of her focus on Nathan’s right. “And immediately following that discussion, you happen to run into him,” he looked at Jo “and you decide it’s a fantastic idea to tell him that you didn’t think he should be Sheriff anymore.”

Jo flinched at the words, never bringing her stare from the floor. **_Good._** He didn’t think too closely on why her discomfort pleased him. Instead, he focused on the disaster of a situation he’d found himself in. “Then, after you realized what a _colossal_ mistake that was, you called Henry,” and here he glared at his old mentor “who, for some unknown, but highly anticipated, reason, thought the best solution to our problems was to suddenly attack and drug the man who no doubt suffers PTSD from his lovely marriage, is definitely being manipulated by her once again, definitely has some kind of negative thoughts being implanted in his subconscious, oh! And don’t forget, already didn’t trust anyone!” His voice has progressively gotten louder during his rant so that when he stopped speaking, the sudden silence was slightly jarring.

Henry looked at him with the same stubborn, self-righteous look as he had been since Nathan first showed his exasperation when they began relating what had led to the current situation. “He wasn’t going to trust us either way, Nathan. I took the opportunity to get him somewhere safe and secure. At least here we can make sure he’s eating. Look at him!”

**_It’s not that I’m not grateful he’s safe, but does no one else even try to think of how he’ll interpret this?! And now they’ve involved me and Ally, which leaves two fewer possible allies._** “And what part of bringing him to GD, sticking him in a cage, and treating him like a combination lab rat/prisoner is going to make him feel safe?” Nathan intones, finally giving in and looking to his right.

Through the observation glass, he could see Carter sitting in absolute stillness on the bed in the room, staring at their group with unwavering intensity. He had neither moved nor spoken since waking and moving into that position. Though they’d removed his pistol and baton before locking him in, he was still in his uniform, and thought that gave an initial assessment that everything was normal, the complete, unwavering focus and lack of any movement gave the impression that he was… **_Intense? Dangerous? Powerful?_** …different. He sighed and reached for the button that would activate the speaker to his room - he’d been watching them since he’d awoken, but they had yet to say anything to him.

Before he made contact, Allison grasped his wrist In a bruising grip, finally turning her head away from the glass and frowning at Nathan. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? Should we not come up with a plan before we talk to him? He’s bound to have questions we can’t answer right now.”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “Three things wrong with that. One, if he was _already_ paranoid and didn’t trust us, and then got drugged and put in here, do you think walking away without saying anything is going to go over well?” **_Jesus, it’s like no one is even thinking! Like he’s just some kind of lab rat that they need to experiment on._** He wasn’t going to address the fact that he’d acted similarly in previous situations when GD employees had been adversely affected by their experiments. “Two, he should be involved in any discussion about how to move forward. We know that he’s been affected by the device, but until there’s some kind of evidence that shows that it’s affecting his ability to think or reason, mistrust isn’t a satisfactory reason to take choices away from him when he’s the person being affected.” He narrowed his eyes with that one, knowing that if any of them were in this situation, they would be livid to be excluded from the process. Allison inclined her head slightly in acknowledgement.

“And three?” She asked. Here, Nathan pulled his arm free of her grasp, turning fully toward the glass and looking at Jack. Jack’s eyes snapped to him, focus fully on Nathan. “And three - I’m pretty sure he got the gist of the conversation already anyway, since he can read lips. Right, Carter?” It was a guess, based solely on his having been a Marshal and Jo and Henry’s explanation of his behavior at the Sheriff’s Office after her phone call. But oh so slowly a shark-like, joyless grin, practically a grimace, settled on Jack’s face, confirming Nathan’s theory.

“Damnit Nathan! You couldn’t say anything earlier?!” Allison snapped. Without taking his focus away from the man in front of him, he shook off Allison’s hand before again reaching for the button, this time activating the communication device to the room. “Hi Jack. How are you feeling, aside from the obvious?” He asked instead of bothering to answer. Jack raised an eyebrow, but didn’t look away from Nathan, and didn’t answer his question.

“Jack, I know that the situation isn’t ideal, but you’re clearly not taking care of yourself, and we’re not going to let you just-“ Nathan rolled his eyes so hard it was slightly painful and interrupted Allison before she could cause _even more_ damage. “We’re not taking away your choices, Jack. And for what it’s worth, I had nothing to do with any of this.” Allison made a noise of disgust at his placing of blame. He didn’t know why he added the last part, but they we’re screwing this up royally, and he just couldn’t stand the thought of Jack thinking he had helped plan his abduction.

“I believe you.”

It was the first thing he’d said, hell the first movement he’d made, since waking up. His head was tilted slightly to the left, focus still on Nathan. Nathan’s eyebrows climbed toward his hairline while a feeling of warmth suffused his chest. **_Well that’s… unexpected._** With their past, he had thought that Jack would trust him the least.

He heard Jo mutter a _seriously?!_ under her breath behind him, and Jack’s eyes snapped to her face immediately, causing Jo to draw a sharp breath. Though the expression on his face hadn’t changed, the look he gave her was decidedly colder than moments before. Jack studied her face before doing the same to Allison and then Henry. Finally, his eyes came back to Nathan again, somehow appearing softer, warmer, again without any change. “Yes.”

Nathan couldn’t prevent the small smile that formed on his lips at the confirmation of Jack’s trust. “Well then. What are we going to do? We need to figure out how she’s getting to you and how to make it stop,” Nathan said. Thankfully the other three were keeping their mouths shut instead of making things worse ag-

“Where have you been sleeping? We need to do a full-body scan and see if we can detect anything, and you clearly need nutrients. So let’s go-“ Nathan rolled his eyes again at Allison’s interruption. **_Jesus, it’s like talking to a brick wall. Did nothing I said earlier make it through, or did she disregard it purely out of spite?_** Luckily, Henry seemed to finally have agreed with Nathan’s point of view, **_or just paid attention when Jack clearly indicated I’m the only one he trusts here_** and interrupted Allison before she could get too carried away. “I think we should probably let Jack weigh in, Allison.”

She snapped her mouth shut, glaring at Henry for the briefest of moments, before nodding her head jerkily.

It was silent for a moment while they waited for Jack’s response. “If I truly get a choice in the matter, I’m not staying here,” he said evenly. Before anyone else could chime in with an argument, Nathan replied, “Of course you get a choice, Jack. You’re not under arrest.” Jack again raised an eyebrow, glancing at the door to his room before his eyes latched back onto Nathan’s. He knew the other three wouldn’t let Jack out without some kind of plan, and they did need to discuss the situation, but there had to be a middle ground. “Well then how about we come in there with you?”

He could feel Allison tense beside him, not wanting to open the door and allow Jack the opportunity to escape. Before she could say anything, Jack looked at each of them again before nodding, once, to Nathan. Not giving anyone a chance to object, Nathan strode to the door and through it, not stopping until he was a few feet from the Jack, still sitting on the bed, as the others reluctantly followed. As they all came to a standstill inside the room, Jack again reiterated his desire to leave. “I don’t want to stay here. She’s a GD employee and could find me here any time. And honestly, I don’t trust you enough to want to stay in your care,” the last directed at Allison.

“Jack, I know this wasn’t the best way to go about this,” Henry started, pausing when Nathan and Jack both snorted at the understatement. “But we’re worried about you. We just want to help break the device’s influence and make sure you stay healthy.”

“Well knocking me out and locking me up aren’t helping. It’s feeding the thoughts I’m already having, making it worse,” Jack retorted. Before he could think it through, Nathan blurted, “You could stay with me. If… If you want. Then we’d all know you’re safe, and I can make sure she doesn’t get to you.” **_Ever. Fucking. Again._**

He realized it was silent and glanced around the room, finding four startled expressions looking back at him. “What? It’s a logical solution, seeing as he’s already said he trusts me.” He cringed internally at the defensive tone, but it couldn’t be helped with them all looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

“I never said I trust you. I said I believed that you didn’t have any part in my ending up here.”

Nathan felt a constricting pressure in his chest and hated it. He could feel his cheeks warming, likely turning red in his embarrassment. **_Of course. Why the hell would he trust me. I do nothing but antagonize the man 24/7._** Just as he was about to apologize for his assumption, Jack looked at Nathan, head tilted and eyes narrowed in thought, and murmured, “though I think I do, actually. Trust you.”

The constriction eased, and he felt like he could breath again. The sudden rush of relief took him by surprise. **_I will do whatever it takes to earn and keep that trust._** He wasn’t quite sure why it was so important that he did, but the thought was there, and he had no intention of going against it. “So what do you say, Jack? If you stay with me, we can help you figure this out. Help you get rid of her and the device.” He tried not to let it show that he held his breath while waiting for the response.

Jack looked around the group again, briefly, before settling back on Nathan. “Just you.” Nathan frowned, not understanding. “Just me, what?”

“I don’t want their help. I don’t want them messing with my mind. Working with her. I don’t trust them. So, I’ll come stay with you, but I just want your help.” Nathan didn’t look at them, knowing they would all be sporting hurt expressions at Jack’s statement. Although his pride was loving everything coming out of Jack’s mouth, he knew they stood a much better chance of fixing this with more minds involved.

“You said you trust me, right.” It wasn’t a question, but he waited for Jack’s acknowledgement anyway. When Jack nodded his head, Nathan continued, “And I trust them. Jo’s the one that told us everything, and I’ll need help to make sure you come out of this ok. Can you trust my trust in them?” He could feel Allison’s surprised gaze on the side of his face, but didn’t move his focus from Jack, letting him read his sincerity. Finally, slowly and with no small amount of hesitation, Jack nodded one more time. Nathan thought his chest might explode from the feelings of pride, gratitude, and happiness that Jack would place so much faith in him. He allowed himself a moment to soak in the feeling when a sudden realization washed over him. **_Holy Fuck. I have feelings for Jack Carter. How the hell did I not realize this sooner?!_**

It seemed rather obvious in that moment that he’d had these feelings for quite some time, but had buried them. Focused instead on creating competition for Jack’s interest in Allison. **_Which didn’t even exist, since Jack’s gay._** But this was definitely not the time or place for any of this. They were in the middle of a serious conversation, and Jack was coming to stay with him because Nathan was the only person he trusted right now. He wasn’t going to betray that trust with unwanted feelings for the man.

This all flew through Nathan’s mind in a moment. _**Hopefully fast enough that no one else realized what just happened.** _“Alright then. Do you want to make a plan now or try to get some sleep and come back tomorrow?” He asked quickly.

“I’d really like to leave. Prove to myself I’m allowed to. We can figure the rest out later,” Jack replied quietly.

Nathan nodded, turning toward the door. As everyone began to file out, a hand caught his, lightly pulling him to a stop. “Nathan, a word?” He closed his eyes briefly in annoyance, and when he opened them again, saw Jack looking back at him, body tense. He nodded in reassurance and turned around. “Yes Allison, what can I do for you?”

She looked at him for a moment, studying him. “Are you sure you want to take this much responsibility in this? This isn’t like you.” He scoffed. “Because I don’t want the man to feel like a science experiment, I’m not acting like myself? I’m not that heartless, and we both know I can handle the responsibility. So what is this really about?” He hadn’t meant to be so harsh with her, but he was just about fed up with her handling of the entire situation and she was obviously digging for something he didn’t want to share.

“Fine. I saw your face, Nathan. Like you realized something and it scared and upset you. So if you thought about it and something bothers you but you didn’t want to back out after offering-“

He barked a laugh. “You really couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m fine with this. I’m glad I can help him; that he trusts me enough to let me. I’m not going to throw him out and I’ll make sure he comes back. Now, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, he turned away, walking through the doorway and smiling when he saw Jack in the hallway, clearly waiting for him. If his chest felt tight when Jack tentatively returned the smile, no one needed to know.

* * *

This was madness. Before all of this, If someone has told him he would agree to stay with Nathan, or that Nathan would _even offer_ , he would have laughed. Nathan hated him, so the odds of him offering were already slim to none, but if it had happened, Jack never would have accepted and risk Nathan discovering his feelings. But when Nathan had blurted out the offer earlier, Jack just couldn’t say no.

He thought back to waking up in that room, clearly locked in while the four in the hallway discussed him like he wasn’t there. He remembered Nathan’s body language indicating his frustration with the situation. Nathan, the only person taking into consideration Jack’s feelings or what shitty thoughts the device may be feeding him.

So as he sat in Nathan’s passenger seat, steadfastly ignoring the speed at which he was driving, and realizing that he did, in fact, feel safe, he allowed himself to relax for the first time in far too long. As his body grew heavy and he allowed his eyes to slip closed, he was unaware of the smile on his face, or of its reflection on the face of the man beside him.


	8. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First night at Nathan’s house.

A gentle pressure on his shoulder startled him into wakefulness, his heart pounding. **_No! She found me. Fuck! How? I-_**

“Jack! Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, I wasn’t thinking. It’s ok, you’re ok. You’re safe.” The deep voice rambled so quickly, and Jack’s heart pounded so loudly, that it took him a few moments to understand what was being said. He looked at Nathan, whose face was creased in concern and guilt. **_Never directed any expression like that at me before._** It was a fleeting thought that he didn’t attempt to catch, his head still feeling slightly muddled. He realized that he was just staring at Nathan, who appeared to be increasingly upset. He forcibly shook himself out of the lingering effects of the spike of adrenaline. “It’s ok. Sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve slept that deeply in…” he trailed off as his eyes widened slightly in his surprise.

“What? What is it?” Nathan still sounded anxious, and Jack’s sudden shock wasn’t helping, apparently. But Jack just stared at him in slight awe for a moment. “I slept. I slept _deeply._ I haven’t been able to… It’s been _weeks._ ” It came out almost reverently, just above a whisper, as he stared at Nathan. Nathan, who was frowning. “But, that’s a good thing, right?” He asked, surprisingly tentative.

Jack laughed, a full-bellied, genuine laugh, shocking both of them. **_How long has it been since I laughed? Today is full of surprises._** “Yeah. Yeah it’s a good thing, Na- Stark. It’s been quite some time since I really slept. It just surprised me. I guess I just felt safe with someone watching my back. Thanks.” He new his face was red by the end of that, but managed to make it through. **_God, I sound like a teenage girl. I just hope he didn’t catch the slip with his name. The last thing I need is for him to figure out my feelings for him and rescind his offer._**

Nathan smirked. **_Fuck, he’s sexy. Gah, stop it!_** “You’re going to be living with me for the foreseeable future, _Jack_ , so I think you can call me Nathan.” The emphasis on his own name made Jack smile and realize Nathan had been calling him Jack back at GD, too. “And no need to thank me,” Nathan continued in a surprisingly soft tone. “I’m glad I make you feel safe, that I can help.” This was said to the driver’s side window, and Jack could have sworn Nathan’s cheeks were pink, though it was hard to tell with the little bit of light coming in through the car windows. He couldn’t quite suppress the thought that Nathan was adorable In that moment.

To break the tension, and pull away from that dangerous train of thought, Jack opened his door and slid from the car, finding himself in Nathan’s garage. **_I didn’t even notice where we were because I was too busy making goddamn googly eyes at the man. I need to get my shit together. There’s enough going on without me complicating things._** He heard Nathan’s door close, and followed him through the connecting door into Nathan’s house, suddenly nervous. He’d never been in Nathan’s house before, and didn’t know what to expect; but if the quality of his suits and car were anything to go by, Jack was going to be so far outside his comfort zone, so far beneath his surroundings, that it wasn’t even funny. How long had it been since he’d showered? Almost a week? He’d planned on it that morning, before everything happened. Suddenly, his attraction felt even more inappropriate as he realized he must be quite the offensive package at the moment.

He was interrupted by Nathan clearing his throat, and Jack flushed, realizing that he’d been asked a question and had been staring vacantly, lost in his thoughts. “Sorry, what?”

Nathan gave him a slight smile, “No need to apologize. It’s been a trying day, to say the least. I asked if you’d like a tour and then some time to get settled while I cook some dinner.” Jack nodded, grateful that Nathan hadn’t asked if he wanted to get cleaned up. He didn’t think he could take the mortification. “You cook?” He asked, as an afterthought, surprised at the information.

Nathan nodded and smirked at him. “Cooking is chemistry. I enjoy many fields of science, and that just happens to be one of them. I’m not too bad at it, if I do say so myself.” Jack sniggered, “Of course you’re a good cook, too. Got a PhD in boiling water?”

Nathan laughed, a deep rumble that Jack felt in his chest. He followed Nathan into the kitchen, unsurprised to see high quality pots and pans hanging from a pot rack and state of the art appliances. “Well it’s good that one of us can cook,” he said. “I was lucky to have Sarah before. My culinary expertise is pretty much limited to sandwiches and packaged foods.” Nathan made a noncommittal noise in response and continued with the tour. The living room was clean and surprisingly cozy. The furniture was obviously of high quality, but was overstuffed and looked incredibly comfortable. Nathan noticed his surprise. “What did you expect?”

“Honestly, I expected something expensive and showy and made to look nice, not actually be sat on. This is, well clearly still way too expensive, but… comfortable.” Nathan gave him a look that Jack couldn’t quite interpret. “Just because I enjoy quality doesn’t mean I enjoy being uncomfortable.”

“Well, I also assumed you only sleep here and spend all remaining time at GD,” he replied with a cheeky grin. He suddenly realized how… _normal_ this was. ~~Flirting~~ _Bantering_ with Nathan like it was any other day. **_Of course, being in his living room while doing it Isn’t exactly standard._** And though he expected some kind of sharp retort in return, Nathan’s reply was another reminder of how completely insane Jack’s life had become. “Well that may be mostly true, but if I had something at home to make it worth being here, things may be different.” They were both taken aback by Nathan’s response, honest and intense, and Nathan cleared his throat before turning and continuing the tour. **_What was that about? I don’t think he’s ever said something so straightforward before. At least not to me._** He tried to picture Nathan having a conversation in that tone, and immediately pictured it with Allison; after all, they had been married. If Nathan were to speak to anyone like that, it would be his wife. **_He must have been picturing Allison here with him, giving him a reason to be here more often._**

Feeling slightly deflated, though berating himself for even allowing any kind of hope in the first place, Jack followed Nathan through more of the house, seeing the office, bathroom, and guest bedroom. Nathan pointed to the last door in the hallway, right next to the guest room. “That’s my room. I have an en-suite, so don’t hesitate to use the hall bathroom whenever. Take some time and settle in, and I’ll go ahead and start cooking.”

Jack nodded as Nathan turned away, making his way down the stairs and back toward the kitchen. Jack headed straight for the shower. It was ridiculously nice, with two shower heads and a rain feature, and Jack had been subsiding on getting clean in the freezing decontamination shower in the Sheriff’s Office. Jack stripped quickly as the water warmed up, eager to be clean again. He stepped into the shower and bit back a moan at the feeling of being completely immersed in the hot water. He leaned against the wall, allowing his mind to drift while he luxuriated in sensations. **_Thank God the controls are easy and this wasn’t some overly complicated Eurekafied shower. Everything else has been embarrassing enough without having to ask him to help me with my shower._**

Of course, that phrasing created an image in Jack’s mind before he had a chance to smother the train of thought.

_Jack couldn’t figure out how to get the shower running, with its stupid state-of-the-art controls. He had to call for Nathan, who came back into the bathroom, smirking. He got the shower running before turning back to Jack and slowly trailing his gaze down Jack’s naked torso, stopping at his unbuttoned, but still zipped, pants before repeating the perusal in reverse, ending with his eyes focused on Jack’s. “I could help with the rest of your shower as well, if you wanted.”_

Jack snapped his eyes open as a full-bodied shiver worked through him. **_None of that. Fuck, the man opened his home to me and is trying to help, for once. I won’t repay him with fantasies of things he would never want, let alone do, while I’m in his house._** Which was easier said than done, he realized, as his full, hard cock twitched, making itself known. “Fuck,” he whispered, clenching his hands into fists. It’d been so long, and he was a healthy adult male who, before living out of his car for several weeks, had masturbated on a regular basis. But he hadn’t been keen on pulling his dick out in the front seat of his Jeep, so it’d been those same several weeks since he’d had any release.

He tried to ignore it, will it away, but nothing worked. He was too keyed up. **_I’ll just… get rid of it quickly. I just won’t continue the fantasy._** Still feeling slightly dirty for doing this in someone else’s- **_Nathan’s_** -house, he nonetheless placed one palm on the wall, taking his weight as he leaned forward and slowly moved his other hand down his torso, tweaking his nipple along the way. When his hand _finally_ wrapped around his cock, he had to bite back a whimper at the feeling. He started stroking, barely squeezing, not wanting to become vocal. **_The last thing I need is Nathan coming in here to ask if everything is ok because he heard me moaning._**

_“I could help with the rest of your shower as well, if you wanted.” Maintaining eye contact, Jack reached down and lowered the zipper of his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor and leaving him in only his boxers. Nathan’s pupils dilated immediately and he reached forward, grabbing Jack by the back of the neck and pulling him into a bruising kiss._

Jack shook his head violently to clear the images from his mind. **_Fuck!_** He was panting, still lightly stroking his aching cock. He needed more. He needed to finish and forget this fantasy. He moved his hand from the shower wall in front of him, turning to lean back against it instead, and lightly stroked over his testicles, stroking himself with a slightly firmer grip.

_Nathan shoved him back against the shower wall, tongue tangled with his, aggressively demanding his reciprocation. Their bare chests brushed together, and Jack couldn’t help but let out a guttural moan at the stimulation to his nipples. Nathan released his mouth, trailing biting kisses along his jaw, and suddenly that deep voice was speaking directly into his ear. “You like that, Jack? Mmm, are you sensitive here?” And then his fingers were there, rubbing, pinching, pulling his nipples, and Jack arched his back with a whimper of need._

Jack bit his bicep to muffle the deep groan that wanted to escape. **_God. Fuck it. I can’t…_** He gave in to the fantasy, the feelings his hands were evoking as he slid his hand from his testicles around his hip, spreading his legs to gain access to his destination. He began stroking himself in earnest as he circled and rubbed his hole, applying pressure but not breaching.

_Jack had both hands braced on the wall of the shower, his waist bent and back arched. “Please, Nathan. Please, I’m ready,” he begged, trying desperately to grind back on the digits inside of him. “I’ll decide when you’re ready,” Nathan replied, accentuated with a deep thrust of the three fingers inside of him and a stroke over Jack’s prostate.  
_

_Jack removed one hand from the wall, lowering it to stroke his aching erection. Before he made contact, Nathan grabbed his wrist and moved it back to its previous position on the wall, never stopping the movement of the fingers slowly stretching Jack open. “No,” Nathan growled. “Your cock is mine. You don’t come until I say you can come, and you don’t touch it without permission.”_

_Jack keened, desperate. Finally,_ finally _, Nathan removed his fingers, dragging them roughly across Jack’s prostate on the way out, and moved forward, bracing his right hand on top of Jack’s against the wall and using the other to guide his cock to Jack’s ready and loosened-_

Jack clenched his teeth as he threw his head back, spine arching as he came in a violent release, one hand working his cock throughout while the middle finger of the other just breached his spasming anus. **_Holy fucking hell…_** He allowed his arms to drop to his sides and his chin to fall to his chest as his breath sawed in and out of his lungs. Just as he started to breathe normally again, there was a knock at the bathroom door, and Nathan’s voice came through the wood. “Jack? I realized you don’t have anything here with you, so you wouldn’t have anything to change into. I left a set of clothes on your bed if you don’t want to put the same thing back on.”

Jack’s face was flaming. He felt so dirty for having just… and now he was _right there_. The guilt was suffocating. He was extremely thankful that his voice sounded only slightly strangled when he replied, “Thanks, I hadn’t even thought about it. I’m almost done.” He heard Nathan move away and rushed through the rest of the shower, refusing to think about the last ten minutes, vowing to ignore his attraction to the man who would be horrified to know what had just happened under his roof.

* * *

When Jack came back downstairs, Nathan was just setting their plates on the table. He glanced up at Jack and had to bite back the surge of affection, desire, and possessiveness at seeing Jack in his clothes. The lounge pants were several inches too long, causing Jack to step on them as he walked, since he hadn’t rolled the waist, and the MIT t-shirt, just slightly too large in the shoulders, was like a brand proclaiming him to be Nathan’s. He was adorable and sexy at the same time, and the sight of him in something belonging to Nathan was playing havoc on his self-control. **_Get it together. The man has been run out of his home, psychologically attacked and tortured, drugged, and kidnapped. He doesn’t need you throwing yourself at him when he’s already overwhelmed or, God forbid, thinking he_ has _to reciprocate because you’ve given him a place to stay._**

That thought sobered him immediately, and he gestured to Jack’s plate as he took his own seat. “Please, dig in.” Jack gave him a brief smile, though he didn’t look Nathan in the eye, and took his seat. Jack took a bite and let out a deep moan of pleasure at the taste. Nathan’s cock twitched in his pants at the erotic sound.

“Jesus, Nathan. I thought you said you didn’t have a PhD in this. This is amazing,” Jack praised after swallowing his first bite. Nathan chuckled. “It’s just spaghetti, Jack, but thank you for the complement.” Jack smirked at him in return. “Not that you need any more stroking of your ego.”

**_Oh Jack, I’ve got something else I’d be more than happy for you to stroke instead._** He needed a subject change. “I’m surprised that you felt comfortable enough to come stay with me. Though I’m glad that you do.” **_Smooth,_** he berated himself, as Jack looked a bit taken aback by the sudden shift of topic.

“Well, at any other time I would agree with you, but I thought about it a lot after I woke up at GD, and I think I know why.” He licked his lips before taking another bite and Nathan had to look at his own plate to avoid following the movement. “Oh? Care to share?” He drawled as he loaded his fork with a bite of his own.

“Well, when I look at, or think about, any of the three of them, I have immediate feelings of mistrust. I have thoughts that they hate me, that they’re working with Abby. It’s quick, like it’s just waiting for me to touch the subject so it can spring forward and be heard. When I focus on it, I can tell they’re implanted thoughts, but recognizing the thoughts as being implanted doesn’t do much. It does help a bit, but the thoughts and feelings are still there, exhausting to fight and impossible to eradicate completely.” He paused to take a sip of his drink, and as he set the glass back down, looked Nathan in the eye for the first time since coming back downstairs. “But with you, there’s nothing waiting like that. When you were the only one pointing out that I should be involved in the discussions, I was surprised, but it was based on previous experiences, and it wasn’t overwhelming. When you offered to let me stay here, I was shocked, but there was no mistrust, no suspicion. Everything I felt was genuinely my own. So, even though we weren’t exactly the best of friends in the past, we were never enemies, and I trust that your reasons for helping me are legitimate.”

That warmth from before rose unbidden in his chest again at Jack’s words. “Thank you. For your trust.” Jack’s eyebrows rose at that, and Nathan cleared his throat. “Why do you suppose she didn’t plant any negative thoughts about me?” He asked

Jack frowned a bit, eyes losing focus as he thought. “I think…She probably took our arguments to be more than they were when she was here before. If she thought we hated each other already, she wouldn’t waste time programming that into the device.” Nathan narrowed his eyes, watching as Jack answered without making eye contact. **_That’s not all of it, but I’ll leave it. For now._**

“Well, then let’s just be glad that she couldn’t tell that we bantered, more than fought. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely never hated you,” he said instead.

Jack’s head snapped up and his eyes searched Nathan’s intently. Nathan just held his gaze, allowing him to see the truth of his statement. Jack couldn’t quite hide his wonder, though he tried, and so his voice was soft when he replied, “I, um, I’m glad. I’ve never, uh, never hated you either, Nathan.”

Nathan couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at Jack’s words. **_Well. It’s a beginning. Maybe once all of this is over we can have a conversation. Maybe there’s a chance._** Jack gave him a rather shy smile in return before ducking his head back down and continuing to eat. Nathan followed suit, and they finished their meal in companionable silence. Jack insisted on helping with cleanup, though he frowned when Nathan refused to allow him to do it all, and they knocked it out in no time. By this point, Jack was yawning consistently, so Nathan urged him to get some sleep.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping. It’s alright, Jack. Just think of this as home. No need to stand on ceremony and keep me company.” Jack shot him a small smile in gratitude and made his way to the stairs. Just before he opened his bedroom door, Nathan heard a quiet, “Goodnight Nathan” and hoped Jack was too tired to notice the caressing warmth of his “Goodnight Jack” in response.


End file.
